Mature Life Features

. . . that people who maintain

they don’t believe everything they hear

feel they have to repeat it?

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Contributed by Kathy F.

Father Murphy’s parish was poor so he asked his parishioners for suggestions on how to raise some money. He was told that the owner of a race horse always seemed to have money so he decided to purchase an equine. His lack of experience and budget led him to buying a donkey, which he proceeded to enter in the races at the local track.

If finished third in its first a race and the local sports page ran the story with the headline, “Father Murphy’s Ass Shows.” The bishop reportedly was was not pleased. The donkey won its next race, which was reported with the headline, “Father Murphy’s Ass Out Front.” While the bishop was said to be highly displeased, he didn’t take any action. Until its next race, when it came in second and the headline read, “Father Murphy’s Ass Back In Place.”

The bishop ordered the priest to take it out of its next race. The headline on that report was, “Bishop Scratches Father Murphy’s Ass.” That did it. The bishop told the cleric to get rid of the animal.

Father Murphy couldn’t bring himself to sell it, so he gave it to Sister Agatha who’s rural convent had a lot of grass-munching space. The editor who printed that story wrote, “Father Murphy Gives His Ass to Sister Agatha.” The red-faced bishop told her to get rid of the beast anywhere, as long as it was out of his diocese. She managed to sell it to a rancher in another county for $10. Which was reported under the headline, “Sister Agatha Peddles Her Ass for Ten Dollars.”

And the bishop was buried three days later.

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