Mature Life Features

Cecil Scaglione, Editor

Archive for the ‘Humor / Quote’ Category

There Comes a Time . . .

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. . . in everyone’s Life

when their subscriptions run out

and they have to turn to Good Housekeeping

for their Women’s Health and settle with

some good old-fashioned Country Living with People.

Written by Cecil Scaglione

May 16, 2022 at 3:00 am

Posted in Humor / Quote

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Puns Can be Punny — er, Funny

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Included among the list of don’ts in my life is to never talk about infinity because the conversation could go on forever. As we were growing up, my sister applied for a job at the post office but they wouldn’t letter because they said only mails worked there. She got a job at a calendar factory but that didn’t last long because they fired her after she took a day off.

My brother wanted to buy a boat so I told him to look under the For Sail section in the classified ads.

There was the time I ran into my friend and, when I visited him in the hospital, he asked me why I didn’t miss him. He said he was sleeping like a log so I told him he’d have to start looking for a fireplace. He also had a wife who had a photographic memory. The problem was, she never developed it.

After a trip to Australia I had trouble remembering how to throw a boomerang but it usually came back to me.

I’ve always thought that becoming a vegetarian would be a big misteak. There are health nuts trying to ground me because I drink coffee. And waking up this morning to write this opus was an eye-opening experience.

Written by Cecil Scaglione

May 15, 2022 at 3:00 am

Posted in Humor / Quote

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As Spring Heads Inexorably . . .

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. . .toward summer,

young men’s fancies

turn toward

the birds and the bikinis.

Written by Cecil Scaglione

May 14, 2022 at 3:00 am

Posted in Humor / Quote

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Gonna See . . .

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. . . how much I can get done

on a Do Nuthin’ Day

Written by Cecil Scaglione

May 12, 2022 at 3:00 am

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We’re Doing a Great Job . . .

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. . . of shaping this Earth

into something

the meek won’t want to inherit.

Written by Cecil Scaglione

May 10, 2022 at 3:00 am

Posted in Humor / Quote

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The Best Wood . . .

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. . .in most folks’ golf bag

is their pencil

Written by Cecil Scaglione

May 9, 2022 at 3:00 am

Posted in Humor / Quote

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New Arrival . . .

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. . . appears to have an open mind and,

it turns out,

they have a mouth to match.

Written by Cecil Scaglione

May 7, 2022 at 3:00 am

Posted in Humor / Quote

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My Son Points Out . . .

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. . . he can tell people are judgmental

just by looking at them.

Now that’s a pretty good judgment call.

Written by Cecil Scaglione

May 6, 2022 at 3:00 am

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A Sure-Fire Way to Ge Rid. . .

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. . . of folks who ask you how you’re doing

when you know they don’t care

is to respond with the question:

“Why do you want to know?”

Written by Cecil Scaglione

May 3, 2022 at 3:00 am

Posted in Humor / Quote

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When You’re Told . . .

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. . . to put two and two together,

you’d better ask

if they want you to come up

with 4 or 22.

Written by Cecil Scaglione

April 22, 2022 at 3:00 am

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