Mature Life Features

Cecil Scaglione, Editor

Archive for the ‘Humor / Quote’ Category

There Are Two Types . . .

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. . . of people in this world,

but the bully

manipulating the inmates here

is neither one of them.

Written by Cecil Scaglione

June 8, 2022 at 3:00 am

Posted in Humor / Quote

Tagged with ,

In Line With Today’s Woke Generation . . .

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. . . a tablemate thinks he has a perfect renaming of a gun,

any gun, so it won’t offend anyone.

He says we can call it

a cordless hole puncher

Written by Cecil Scaglione

June 6, 2022 at 3:00 am

A Whole Shelf of Toilet Paper . . .

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. . . tumbled down and almost buried a guy at the supermarket the other day.

After he crawled out of it, he said he was OK,

“Just soft-tissue damage.”

Written by Cecil Scaglione

June 5, 2022 at 3:00 am

The Only Time to Talk Politics . . .

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. . . is if you get lost

in the woods, desert, jungle or some other forlorn place,

because you’re sure to be found by someone

who will show up just to argue with you.

Written by Cecil Scaglione

June 3, 2022 at 3:00 am

Posted in Humor / Quote

Tagged with ,

His New Hearing Aid . . .

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. . . was a topic of conversation

by one of our table mates during dinner.

He said he only got one because it was expensive

because it was the latest state of the art.

I asked him “What kind is it?” and he said

“Ten minutes after five.”

Written by Cecil Scaglione

June 2, 2022 at 3:00 am

Posted in Humor / Quote

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Some Folks are so Dedicated . . .

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. . . to not working that,

if you hired them

to test a new mattress by sleeping on it,

they’d wake up and quit.

Written by Cecil Scaglione

June 1, 2022 at 3:00 am

Posted in Humor / Quote

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I Guess I’ve Joined the Woke Folk . . .

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. . . because I don’t feel fat.

I identify as thin,

which makes me trans-slender.

Written by Cecil Scaglione

May 31, 2022 at 3:00 am

Gonna Go to McDonald’s . . .

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. . . for coffee more often.

Next to our booth today

a couple of females were chatting.

One announced she just had a pregnancy test, and

her companion asked if the questions were hard.

I

Written by Cecil Scaglione

May 29, 2022 at 3:00 am

Posted in Humor / Quote

Tagged with ,

I Told the Guys at the Table . . .

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. . . that I saw a coyote on the way to the store

and one of them asked me

how I knew it was going to the store.

Written by Cecil Scaglione

May 28, 2022 at 3:00 am

Posted in Humor / Quote

Tagged with

Has It Occurred to You . . .

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. . . that beer

is cheaper than gas so,

drink, don’t drive.

Written by Cecil Scaglione

May 27, 2022 at 3:00 am