Archive for the ‘Humor / Quote’ Category
There Are Two Types . . .
. . . of people in this world,
but the bully
manipulating the inmates here
is neither one of them.
In Line With Today’s Woke Generation . . .
. . . a tablemate thinks he has a perfect renaming of a gun,
any gun, so it won’t offend anyone.
He says we can call it
a cordless hole puncher
A Whole Shelf of Toilet Paper . . .
. . . tumbled down and almost buried a guy at the supermarket the other day.
After he crawled out of it, he said he was OK,
“Just soft-tissue damage.”
The Only Time to Talk Politics . . .
. . . is if you get lost
in the woods, desert, jungle or some other forlorn place,
because you’re sure to be found by someone
who will show up just to argue with you.
His New Hearing Aid . . .
. . . was a topic of conversation
by one of our table mates during dinner.
He said he only got one because it was expensive
because it was the latest state of the art.
I asked him “What kind is it?” and he said
“Ten minutes after five.”
Some Folks are so Dedicated . . .
. . . to not working that,
if you hired them
to test a new mattress by sleeping on it,
they’d wake up and quit.
I Guess I’ve Joined the Woke Folk . . .
. . . because I don’t feel fat.
I identify as thin,
which makes me trans-slender.
Gonna Go to McDonald’s . . .
. . . for coffee more often.
Next to our booth today
a couple of females were chatting.
One announced she just had a pregnancy test, and
her companion asked if the questions were hard.
I
I Told the Guys at the Table . . .
. . . that I saw a coyote on the way to the store
and one of them asked me
how I knew it was going to the store.
Has It Occurred to You . . .
. . . that beer
is cheaper than gas so,
drink, don’t drive.
Mature Life Features 