Mature Life Features

. . . in our gym class

that was so lazy

all he did

was diddly-squats.

who

find me offensive

should just

quit looking for me.

. . . about

what people think

because

they don’t do it very often.

. . . is good.

A lot of people

should get one.

. . . I can give people

who say

they don’t ever want a divorce is,

“Don’t get married.”

. . . if folks who

wanted to change things,

knew what the hell

they wanted to change them to.

. . . invented

the universal remote control,

changed everything

. . . is chiseled into

the marble of life.

You’ll be happy to know

I’m nobody.

. . . you live long enough,

you’re going

to get old.

. . . at our elevator doors:

“Pushing the up or down button

2, 3, 4, 5 or more times

DOES NOT

make this thing

move any faster.”