Archive for the ‘Humor / Quote’ Category
From High School Science . . .
. . .we were taught the universe
is made up of protons and neutrons and electrons.
But no one ever mentioned the
limitless and ever-increasing number of morons.
Men “Bulletproof” Until Mid-40s
A major health concern in this nation is the fact that many men in their 50s and older haven’t seen
a doctor in years.
With the aging of the baby boomers, more than 150,000 men a month are turning 50 from coast to coast.
“Up until around 45, men are basically bulletproof, so there’s little need to see a doctor,” according to Dr. Gordon Ehlers of Denver. “Men also are not conditioned, as women are, to have annual checkups. All of which leads to a large segment of the population who does not know about or use the health-care system.”
That changes after about 45 because of three critical ailments that begin to emerge – joint deterioration, cancer, and heart disease. The last is the number-one killer around the world.
But the biggest health-care problem is that men who have reached this age do not visit doctors
regularly.
The first critical move for men in this cohort is to begin with an annual general physical exam to screen for general problems, such as stress and anxiety.
It’s A Good Thing . . .
. . . we have time,
otherwise,
everything would happen all at once.
Take Time Out for Tea
Modern science has confirmed the potential health benefits of tea, according to the Mayo Clinic. People have turned to tea to soothe body and soul for more than 5,000 years. In China, tea has served medicinal purposes since ancient times.
Tea leaves contain a mix of substances including antioxidant compounds called polyphenols, and may offer some protection from:
— Cancer: Green tea may help prevent gastric, pancreatic, bladder and ovarian cancers. Research indicates that the reason may be catechins, polyphenols that appear to have cancer-fighting and other health-promoting properties. Green tea is especially rich in catechins.
— Cardiovascular disease: Green tea may lower cholesterol and triglyceride levels. And black tea and green tea are linked to a reduced risk of heart attack and stroke.
— Cavities: Green tea destroys bacteria that can contribute to tooth cavities. It also helps prevent plaque formation.
— Parkinson’s disease: Caffeine in tea might help prevent Parkinson’s or slow its development, possibly by increasing mental alertness or by increasing the availability of the brain chemical, dopamine.
The Problem With . . .
. . .doing nothing
is that you never run out
of nothing to do.
X Marks the Surgeon’s Spot
Make sure the surgeon places an X to mark the spot where you’re going to have surgery. It’s rare, but surgeons have made and will continue to make mistakes and operate on the wrong part of the body.
Many medical groups urge their members to use a marking pen to show the place that they will operate on, so don’t be afraid to ask your surgeon to make his or her mark so you can see it before you head for the operating room.
This is just one of the questions you should ask your doctor when surgery is recommended. Find out what benefits to expect, the length of the recovery time, and what type of anesthesia will be used and how it will affect you.
You should also determine how much of the cost of the operation is covered by medical insurance, and whether a second opinion is required and/or covered. And don’t be afraid to ask how much the total medical-services and hospital bill will be for the surgery, anesthesia, post-operative care, recovery, and follow-up therapy.
Critical queries to add are the “what happens if” questions: “What happens if I choose not to have the surgery?” and “What happens if something goes wrong?”
And before he or she marks X on the spot, ask for a detailed explanation of the operation. They can draw a picture or diagram and explain the steps in the surgery.
An Inmate . . .
. . . who’s moving to colder climes
said he’s going to try some cross-country skiing,
I suggested he pick a small country.
Traveling Alone Has its Own Trip
Travel can lose much of its attraction after losing your life-long partner that shared the sites and sights you encountered around the globe over the years. And many suddenly-singles don’t relish the thought of returning to a favorite voyage or villa without the person they enjoyed it with over the years.
This is at a time when, for the first time in their lives, they probably can travel to wherever they choose to and stay as long as they wish.
Most can recall chatting with a solo traveler or two over the years. One long-time friend has flown to several countries and cities without any reservations and rents a room or apartment for several weeks to soak in the culture and cuisine of the land.
If you don’t feel like going it alone, you can book tours for ski trips, museum visits, cooking schools, national parks and almost anything you can envision.
Some of the bumps on the traveling-alone road include finding time to go off on your own during the tour you’ve booked with a group, how to avoid paying the single supplement charged by hotels and cruise ships, as well as getting along with room-mates on the trip.
If He Didn’t Say It . . .
. . . he would have
because, according to reports,
the late, great Yogi Berra said
he didn’t know if the naked bodies
streaking across the field
were male over female
“because they were wearing bags of their heads.”
Ignoring Stress Can Be Stressful
A lot of attention has been given to the debilitating effects of depression. It’s been cited for, among other things, affecting our mental and physical health and exacerbating such conditions as heart disease and triggering other medical issues.
So does stress.
Most folks think they can handle it because they’ve coped with a day-to-day working life, raising a family, making mortgage payments and so on. But stress still lurks in the corners of their psyche if they don’t pay attention.
Exercise can push it aside. So can medication. Anything that helps you retain a feeling of quietude and optimism. Maintaining a circle of friends and socializing with them regularly also lowers stress levels.
The Concept of Zero . . .
. . . has always baffled me.
For example,
if you have two choices
and you take one option away,
you’re left with zero choices.
Shortage of Medical Staff
The aging population not only is creating more demand for medical services, it’s also accelerating the shortage of doctors and nurses as they approach retirement age.
As the 65-and-over population grows by almost 50 percent over the next decade, almost the same percentage of doctors will join that phalanx during the same period.
We expect to be almost 140,000 physician short of what we need by 2033, according to the Association of American Medical Colleges, reports Bottom Line.
To protect yourself, you can look for a younger doctor to care for you should your current physician b e close to retirement. You also can seek a primary care physician affiliated with a group practice so there will be a medical doctor in-house to serve you should your current doctor leave.
Lady At A Nearby Table . . .
. . .announced
that her son just told her
he was born again
and the lady said
she didn’t feel a thing.
Penny Earned No Longer Possible
The penny will soon be in only our thoughts, to paraphrase an old adage.
Penny production is being phased out this year and the last batch will be available in proof sets next spring. The coin is being discontinued because it costs more than 2 cents to produce the 1 cent piece.
Canada quit making pennies a decade ago because it was costing too much to make them.
Almost 290 billion U.S. pennies have been produced and some 150 billion are still in circulation. The rest have been tossed into fountains, tucked into jars or loafers, made into jewelry or rolled onto a sidewalk somewhere.
Pragmatists predict business will round out prices for everyone to accommodate the loss of the penny. This might get complicated where prices are displayed before any sales taxes are added.
Relinquishing of the penny is a reminder of the pressures being exerted to do away with cash. Promoters of a cashless society argue that maintaining automated teller machines (currently paid for by the banks) is costly. Retailers and other businesses complain that taking cash takes more time and money than payments made by store card, debit card, credit card or cryptocurrency. And don’t forget your handy dandy contactless-payment tool in your hand – the cell phone.
The pressures for change are not going away. Next in the line of sight of those who want to abolish coins is the nickel. Their argument sounds familiar. It costs about 7 cents to make a nickel.
If You’re Allergic. . .
. . . to cotton,
how do you get the pills
out of the bottle?
Telemedicine Keeps Doctor Away
Call it telemedicine or telehealth, it’s the future of doctor-patient relationships and it’s already arrived.
The use of telehealth exploded during the COVID-19 pandemic and there no longer is any question within and without the medical community that telemedicine is here to stay.
While face-to-face visits with primary-care physicians and specialists are expected to continue for critical cases, chronic care no longer will call for a patient to get a ride to the doctor’s office. Everything will be handled by phone or computer.
After an annual visit to a specialist monitoring his liver condition, a relative was told to make appointments for an ultrasound reading and a blood test. The blood test had to be made online and it took several sessions with a computerized voice to get called by a person to make the ultrasound appointment.
A computerized phone call notified him the results of the test were posted on the patient portal in his computer. He had to read — and translate — the results himself. He assumed everything was routine because the doctor, or his assistant, would call if there were any problems or peril.
You can check your symptoms on the internet, but the information out there is unreliable. It may make for interesting reading, but you need to see your doctor for a dependable diagnosis. Once you’ve met with him or her, telemedicine can be used for follow-up and treatment.
Connecting through cyberspace means you always have a medical babysitter at your elbow. When an issue erupts, a quick contact with your caregiver will let you know how to respond.
Support groups also congregate on the internet. Folks with cancer, ALS, disabilities and long-term medical conditions can establish and maintain contacts that can help each other climb over crises.
The Folks Around Me . . .
. . . are constant reminders that
going to church
doesn’t make you a Christian
anymore than standing in the kitchen
makes you a chef.
Crooks Steal From the Dead
Dead men may tell no tales but their obituaries can reveal volumes. Especially to thieves who study death notices to glean information they can use to pluck you clean.
It feels comforting to inform the world of the passing of a loved one and to include details of their life, including birthdate, address, hobbies, achievements, work and career highlights along with a list of surviving family members.
Scam artists gorge on this information. The more detail there is, the more steps you provide them to get closer to stealing your identity, the identity of the deceased, or both.
Listing the dead person’s age is okay, but don’t include their birthday. A death notice including the address of the deceased along the name of their surviving spouse along with other personal details provides a roadmap for scam artist to follow.
It’s been estimated that the identity of as many as 1 million dead people a year is co-opted by crooks who clean out existing accounts or obtain credit cards and apply for loans in the name of the deceased. Some scammers even file tax returns in the name of the dead to collect refunds.
Crooks also call survivors claiming the deceased must pay a debt they have. First of all, there is no legal obligation to pay any such a debt, unless you co-signed for it. So hang up. There’s also the fraudulent insurance scam: the caller claims the deceased took out a life insurance policy but before the benefits payment can be made there’s a final premium payment required for handling fees, taxes and whatever. Hang up.
If An Invisible Guy . . .
. . .had a medical problem,
would the doctor
be able to see him?
Headaches Are a Real Pain
We’re surrounded by headaches.
Bustling traffic, noisy neighbors, relentless relatives, busybody bosses, and you’ll think of a few more. Those aren’t really headaches, although they may be causes.
Most of us will suffer at least one headache this year. More than 70 million people in this country suffer from intermittent headaches, according to a national survey.
About one in 10 individuals suffer the blinding pain of migraines and the accompanying complaints, such as sensitivity to light, noise and smells, nausea and upset stomach among others.
Sinus headaches usually are the result of infected sinuses and hover around the front of your face – forehead, nose and cheeks.
Cluster headaches hit about 1 percent of the population. They’re usually short but extremely painful and tend to occur in clusters – several times a day or at the same of time of day for several days.
Tension is the most common cause of the most common headaches. These types of headaches usually are a steady ache rather than a throbbing that’s a hallmark of many migraines.
Erasing these attacks calls for learning how to relax mentally as well as physically. Getting enough sleep is a good start. So is some form of regular exercise. Swimming, biking, walking and gardening are simple means to keep you moving enough to assure you of a good night’s sleep. If you’re experiencing headaches more than once a week for any reason, make an appointment with your primary-care physician to discuss their source and suggested solutions to the problem.
Mature Life Features 