Archive for the ‘News / Events’ Category
Just Read a Piece . . .
. . . son Michael sent me about the origins of February.
Way down deep is the statement that we no longer pronounce the first “r”, making it Febuary — “much like we do with ‘suh – prise’ and ‘guv – uh – nor’.” Well, I pronounce the “r”s and say February, surprise and governor.
But where the hell did impor – d – ant come from???
There’s a Gentleman . . .
. . . living here who does all his own cooking and doesn’t eat in the dining room.
Since the only things I can cook are toast, bacon and eggs, and corned-beef hash, I asked him how to do some pork ribs I’d picked up the day before to assuage my hunger for these delicacies. I cut the slab into three packages of five ribs each and stored two bundles in the freezer.
He told me he doesn’t like to do dishes and, after I lauded his foresight, he said use a sheet of alum foil to cover any sort of baking pan and set in a 300 degree oven for a couple of hours. Since I like ’em dry, I rubbed some salt, pepper, oregano and garlic salt on them while the oven heated, tossed them in and it all worked out. The kitchen gave me a cup of potato salad and I poured a glassful of Gatorade/cranberry juice and life was good. Next time I’ll pour a Stella Artois.
Am I now a chef? No. But I can add baked ribs to my list of can-do. And no dishes to do.
Made Another Newspaper Mistake . . .
. . . today by picking up one of the three Arizona Republics delivered daily to the bistro.
That newsroom has three dozen reporters, plus a similar amount of editors, plus the sports department, plus a Spanish language insert staff, plus a half dozen columnists and I read through all that was pertinent in less than 10 minutes.
The most intelligent pieces were the letters to the editor. The major story from Page One was a three page obit — three full pages plus — of one of their editors who passed away.
No wonder its daily circulation is 117K, or one copy for every 40 people among the 4.6 million residents of Maricopa County. I asked everyone in the bistro who read the paper if they learned anything. They all shook their heads no.
Our Coffee Breaks are Brief . . .
. . . here in our old folks’ facility because
if they’re too long,
everybody forgets where they live.
Making a New Year’s Resolution . . .
… has never been on my calendar,
but we had an interesting “white stone” meditation session last year to write down on our little rock a directive we hoped to follow during 2021.
The word that stood on my shelf all year was “LISTEN” so it was pretty simple to just turn over the stone for 2022 and write “SHUT UP.”
‘Twas a couple of days before Christmas
When the old guys were talking
About how they looked forward
To filling a stocking.
The conversation ran into a wall
When somehow cost became the topic
And no one could recall
What that had to do with the subject.
Through the mumbling and jumbling
And a bit of sputtering, too
The matter at hand came tumbling through,
“It’s Christmas you fools,”
Commented – er, shouted — an old fart,
“Whether its toys or tools,
It should come from your heart.”
White Elephant . . .
. . . comes to mind during this season of gift-giving.
Legend says the origin is rooted in the kingdom of Siam, modern-day Thailand, when the king would present a white elephant to anyone around him who displeased him.
These animals were considered sacred so they could not be killed, nor could they be re-gifted since they were a present from the king. This meant you had to feed this beast, which could weight up to 12 tons, up to 600 pounds of food every day.
So if you didn’t have endless means, a white elephant meant it could be end of you.
The Californication . . .
. . .of what was once amiable Arizona is brutally more and more visible.
Since moving here just short of five years ago, traffic is noticeably heavier at all hours, passersby don’t give a friendly salute like they used to, AND
there’s dog shit wherever I go biking in the morning — on both sides of the sidewalks, along the canal, under the power lines, everywhere.
Welcome to Calizona! ! !
Selling His Collection . . .
. . . of books amassed over several decades as a journalist
hasn’t been a problem for an old colleague
despite the fact that many of them are minus several pages, even a few chapters.
He’s just listed them as “Limited Editions.”
Mature Life Features 