Mature Life Features

Cecil Scaglione, Editor

A Lot Can Be Said . . .

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. . . about living in Switzerland.

Even its flag is a big plus.

Hapless Headlines

More than six decades in the newspaper business has given me the opportunity to collect, correct and clip out headlines that have caused red faces – from embarrassment by those who wrote them and from laughing by those who read them. Many sneaked through the editorial staff at papers I worked for, others hit the streets in competing pages, a lot were sent to me by colleagues, and the rest I just read in papers picked up here and there.

Some of you must have seen some of them. Like:

Police Launch Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Panda Mating Fails, Veterinarian Takes Over

Miners Refuse to Work After Death

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

War Dims Hope for Peace

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Homicide Victims Rarely Talk to Police

Marijuana Issue Sent to a Joint Committee

China May be Using Sea to Hide its Submarines

Federal Agents Raid Gun Shop, Find Weapons

Man Kills Himself and Runs Away

Bugs Flying Around With Wings are Flying Bugs

Bridges Help People Cross Rivers

Girls’ Schools Still Offering “Something Special” — Head

Man Arrested For Everything

Tiger Woods Plays With His Own Balls, Nike Says

Rooms With Broken Air Conditioners are Hot

State Population to Double by 2040, Babies to Blame

Greenland Meteorite May be From Space

Students Cook & Serve Grandparents

Woman Missing Since She Got Lost

Man Found Dead in Graveyard

City Unsure Why the Sewer Smells

Planes Forced to Land at Airports

Hospitals Resort to Hiring Doctors

Statistics Show that Teen Pregnancy Drops Significantly After 25

Diana Was Still Alive Hours Before She Died

One-Armed Man Applauds the Kindness of Strangers

Most Earthquake Damage is Caused by Shaking

And my all-time favorite:

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures.

If you have more of your own, send them to cecilscag@gmail.com

Written by Cecil Scaglione

January 3, 2023 at 2:00 am

Posted in Humor / Quote

Tagged with ,

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