Mature Life Features

Cecil Scaglione, Editor

Goldwyn Gobbledygook

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By Tom Morrow 

Samuel Goldwyn was a Polish-American film producer who also entertained millions with his hilarious off-beat one-liners that no one could make up.


“Our comedies are not to be laughed at.” 

“For this part I want a lady … someone with couth.” 

“I’ve been laid up with the intentional flu.” 

“I want to make a picture about the Russian secret police … the GOP.” 

“Any man who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined.” 

He declined an invitation to a New Orleans Mardi Gras party saying, “I wouldn’t go even if they had it in the streets.” 

Making vacation plans, he sad wanted to go “somewhere where the hand of man has never set foot.” 

During that trip to England, hew told how an ancient sun dial works, “With the shadow moving with the progress of the sun.” He marveled, “What will they think of next?” 

When discussing the dangers of the atom bomb, Goldwyn warned “not to underestimate the power of nuclear energy. It’s dynamite.”

Getting tired of debating with a British agent, Goldwyn declared he was going out “for some tea and trumpets.” 

A secretary in Goldwyn’s office asked if she could toss out some old files. He agreed, but cautioned, “Be sure you make copies before you throw them out.’ 

Written by Cecil Scaglione

January 6, 2023 at 4:00 am

Posted in Humor / Quote

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