Archive for the ‘Humor / Quote’ Category
Even At This Age . . .
. . .an old buddy was worried
about an on-line date he’d made.
I suggested they meet in a gym
and if she didn’t show up
then he’d know they wouldn’t work out.
Positive Attitude Negates Arthritis Pain
Millions of Americans live with arthritis, which occurs in more than 100 forms and at varying levels of severity. But not everyone copes in the same way, even among those with similar signs and symptoms.
People with a positive, proactive attitude are likely to experience less pain and fewer limitations from their arthritis than those who are more negative. And when people feel in control, they’re more likely to use medical-treatment options effectively, medical experts report..
The following are some healthy lifestyle measures that can help people cope with arthritis.
–Reduce stress, because stress increases muscle tension than can worsen arthritis pain. This can set off a cycle of increased pain, decreased ability to function, and more stress.
–Take time to relax in a variety of ways; meditation and prayer can calm your minds while massage or slow and deep breathing help relax muscles. Exercise, such as yoga or tai chi, often enhances relaxation.
–Understand your pain by learning the difference between pain associated with general joint discomfort and what is caused by joint overuse.
–Know when to rest. The feeling of fatigued joints may be a signal to back off or change activities. Painful, inflamed joints may require total rest temporarily or even an immobilizing splint. Whole body rest also is important. If you have trouble getting a good night’s sleep, talk to your doctor about strategies to improve sleep. During the day, rest before you become too tired.
–Use “assistive” devices, such as as jar openers, specially designed kitchen knives, devices to extend your reach, and aids to help you dress, to make common daily tasks less harmful to your joints.
The People Here . . .
. . .are treating me like one of the family,
but I’m not going to put up with that much longer.
Shredding Saves
If you don’t anticipate receiving a shredder for Christmas or your upcoming birthday, you might settle for scissors to cut up documents, cards and statements sought by identity thieves.
Or you might trot out and buy your own shredding machine to get rid of anything with your signature, Social Security and driver’s license numbers, PINs, birth date, and numbers of credit cards, insurance policies, and bank and credit union accounts.
And start shredding immediately.
Start with three-month-old credit-card statements you don’t need for taxes or proof of purchase. Do the same with credit-card receipts that have appeared on those monthly statements. If you have a computer with Internet connection, you can shred those receipts as soon as the transactions appear in your online statement. Don’t forget ATM , bank deposit and withdrawal slips.
What you must keep, however, are documents required for taxes, medical records, and papers linked with mortgage payments and home maintenance and repairs.
The Lady At The Next Table . . .
. . .looked surprised
when I told her
she’d painted here eyebrows too high.
Don’t Answer Ringing in Your Ears
Any ringing, whistling, whooshing or hissing sound in one or both ears when there is no external source of noise could be a sign of tinnitus. Up to 15 percent of adults have prolonged tinnitus that often requires medical evaluation. The problem can interfere with sleep, concentration and daily activities.
Tinnitus often is caused by age-related hearing loss. Exposure to loud noises also can damage hearing and lead to tinnitus. It can be caused by something as simple as a buildup of wax blocking the ear canal. Some medications, certain antibiotics, and cancer drugs can cause or worsen tinnitus. Aspirin taken in excessive amounts can cause temporary ringing in the ears.
There is no cure. A medication change or removal of earwax may diminish symptoms for some people. Beneficial treatment strategies include:
— Amplifying hearing with a hearing aid;
— Avoiding excessive noise, such as using ear plugs when operating noisy machines and tools;
— Avoiding such stimulants as caffeine, nicotine and decongestants;
— Adding soothing background noise, such as quiet music or a fan, and
— Using sedatives or antidepressants when the condition interferes with sleep or causes a high level of anxiety or stress.
Apropos Of Nothing . . .
. . . I got to thinking
that if you took the shell off a snail,
you’d just make it more sluggish.
Make a Fist to Fight Arthritis
To avoid stiffening and soreness in your hands, or alleviate it if that’s already started, clench your hands into a fist.
It’s one of several easy exercises you can repeat two or three times that are recommended by
orthopedic experts for everyone to maintain flexibility and use of your hands.
The idea is not to force any movement, especially if you’re suffering from any form of arthritis.
After making a fist, you should straighten out all your fingers and thumb as far as possible. Then spread apart all your fingers and thumb as far as you can.
Close your fingers, aim your hand at the ceiling and point your thumb to the side. Then hold your hand out in a hand-shake position and roll your thumb from an outstretched position to touch the base of your little finger. Then cup your hand and touch the tip of each finger with the tip of your thumb.
If There’s A Will . . .
. . .you’ll find out
how many relatives you have.
A Rose by Any Other Name is – Who?
Remembering names is a lifelong thorn in most people’s side.
A co-worker years ago leaped over the remember-names hurdle by greeting everyone with, “Hello, Judge.” Another colleague made up his own name for people around him, claiming he never used names “your mother called you.”
The initial step to take to remember a name is to pay attention when you’re being introduced. This becomes difficult at a wedding, funeral, service club luncheon or any gathering with a lot of unfamiliar faces.
To help imprinting a name in your mind, repeat the name when you’re introduced. “Nice to meet you, Mike,” will help you remember his name. You may be able to link him to a childhood friend, relative or movie star with the same name. It can help if his or her name has a visual connection. Lily can be linked easily to the flower, Jay with a bird, and Rocky with the movie of the same name.
If you’ve forgotten their name, say so and tell them you’re name.
Overheard The Woman . . .
. . . at a nearby table today,
tell her meal mate
that she ran into her ex-husband on her morning shopping trip,
Then she backed up and ran into him again.
Aging Politicians Ignore
Aging Population
While there have been loud voices bemoaning the fact that we’re not paying enough attention to climate change, there isn’t even a whimper about what’s happening to our population change. It’s paradoxical that the greying heads in government are paying little attention to the graying of their constituents.
The voters’ rolls are aging at the rate of 10,000 over-65ers every day. You’d think that all those silver-haired politicians would be looking hard at how to accommodate the needs of folks who are growing old just as they are. Even the aging talking heads on television seem ignorant of what’s concerning a growing segment of their viewers.
The apparent reasoning for this blindness to a massive problem is the mantra that 70 is the new 50. And the spreading myth that age is simply a state of mind. Several studies topple this trend in thinking by supporting what we’ve always known – ailing and aching increase as you get older.
No matter how Pollyannaish we may feel, our odds of falling victim to such widespread debilitations as Alzheimer’s disease increase the longer we live. While health-care is high on the list of promises by those seeking votes, the focus usually is on the young who have inadequate coverage rather than the elderly who cannot care for themselves.
Another major concern is the strength and stability of Social Security. Predictors tell us there will be about two workers supporting each recipient by the early 2030s. This was not in any forecasts when there were more than 45 workers for each recipient of benefits when the program was instituted back in the 1930s.
One Point In Favor of Aging . . .
. . . is that it’s better to be
over the hill
rather than under it.
What The Heck Is In A Name Anyway?
Some people never get my name right. While there have been several requests about how to pronounce my first name, it’s my last name that gives them the most trouble.
In English, you just pronounce every letter – Scag-lee-owe-knee. In Italian, the “gl” is swallowed and the name comes out Scal-YO-knee. It works the same as gnocci — nyoki
Even after several attempts, most seem to prefer spelling my last name ending with an “i” – Scaglioni. My insurance company persisted for years to keep spelling it that way even though it was spelled correctly on the policy.
Getting my name right has given many editors head-scratching sessions to make sure the by-line on my stories was spelled correctly. For many years, they preferred the shortened Cec Scaglione. One article in my Detroit paper appeared under the by-line of Ceg Scaglione until a sharp-eyed editor caught it and corrected it for the later editions.
Early in my career, I received a check from a Toronto magazine made out to Cec Scogbone. I managed to get it cashed at my bank so it didn’t become a problem. I get a lot of correspondence with the “g” dropped – Scalione. A credit-card company I was enlisted with a while ago persisted in sending me a monthly statement addressed to Scaslione. They even came up once with Schelione.
A welfare agency I did a story about sent me a thank-you note with the name Scageclone. A complimentary note for a story I wrote was addressed to Mr. Scheline. A Methodist bishop sent a letter to my boss lauding the effort of Mr. Ceg Scaliogre.
My Shower Is . . .
. . . much more accommodating
since I put a bar in it,
however,
I keep running out of scotch.
Bank Fees Like Fleas
It used to be that robbers hit the banks for their money. Now, the banks are coming after you for yours. Only it’s not called robbery. It’s called fees.
When banks were deregulated more than a couple of decades ago, they were set free to compete for your dollars.
The lawmakers who lauded their magnanimous act proclaimed that the need to compete for
customers would force banks to improve services for the depositor, lower interest rates for
borrowers, and generally make one’s banking experience more personal and profitable.
What happened was banks began charging fees for services that were free before deregulation.
Make too many deposits in your bank, you could be charged for that. Too many telephone calls? There’s also a fee for that – even if you only get a recording. At many banks, charges vary for talking with a real live person, whether by visiting the building or by telephone.
However, if you don’t use your banking service enough, there’s a “dormancy” fee. Some banks
attach a monthly fee – for using your money – if your account is inactive. This definition varies
from institution to institution so you should ask your bank about its policy. If you find it unsatisfactory, close the account.
Before doing that, however, ask if there’s an account-closing fee. And, before you open an
account at another bank, ask them the same question.
In their campaign to convince you that they’re really doing you a service by closing down a
nearby branch office and making much-less-labor-intense – and therefore less costly – electronic banking available, banks merrily overlook burdening you with bothersome details.
For example, downloading cash from automated teller machines (ATMs) is undoubtedly handy.
In most cases, you’ll get it even if it means you’re overdrawing your account. There’s a fee for
that.
There’s no warning. You won’t know about it until you see your monthly statement.
Banks claim they want you to have the convenience of getting cash as you need and want it. But they don’t warn you that you’re overdrawing. You have to monitor your balance to avoid the overdraft charge.
While we’re on ATMs, it’s wise to use your own bank’s because many financial institutions are
adding their own charges for ATM users who belong to a different bank.
The banks’ back shops are getting better at maximizing charges. They clear your largest checks
first to get the most out of overdraft fees.
Let’s say you have $1,000 in your account and you’ve written three checks – one for $1,100 and
the other two for $150 and $100. The bank most likely will clear the largest check first, charging
an overdraft fee. Then it charges overdraft fees as it clears each of the other two checks that are written on your now-overdrawn account, rather than clear the two smaller checks first and
leaving you with only one overdraft fee
An Interesting Something . . .
. . . popped into my head
t’other morning on my bike ride.
At my age, I feel like I’ve come out of “Star Wars” being born “A long time ago in a galaxy far away…”
Always the Season
to Protect Your Identity
Identity theft, which is easier to commit successfully than credit-card fraud because the criminal only has to steal your name and not your card, accounts for almost half of the thousands of consumer-fraud complaints made to the Federal Trade Commission each year.
Almost 10 percent of the population becomes victims of identity thieves each year. These are just the ones we know of because they are reported to the FTC. You can lose your identity in an instant – the time it takes for a crook to memorize your birth date or Social Security number as you give it to a shop clerk, for example.
You can take a few simple steps to foil these vultures.
Old-fashioned thieves steal your identity by pilfering through your wallet or purse. Modern Internet hackers can get your most personal information, such as your name, Social Security number, address, and other valuable data, to use to make purchases and loans in your name.
Many steal identities from mailboxes – more than 100,000 residential mailboxes are raided every day in this country – or they fish bank and credit-card statements from trash. You face more than a financial loss when any of this happens to you. Since you’re the person who’s named on the debt, you’ll have to pay bills you never incurred.
An identity thief may use your name but another address so you won’t be aware of the debt made in your name because statements will be sent to that other address and your credit will be trampled.
It’s a long and frustrating road to reclaim your rightful identity and credit rating. A bad credit rating is like an old-fashioned hangover – only time is a cure.
One self-defense weapon you might acquire is a paper shredder to shred all documents and statements with your name, address and ID numbers. This includes bank and credit-card statements, offers by credit-card companies for pre-approved cards, any statements from book clubs or magazine subscriptions, and personal numbers that come with catalogs and merchant mailings.
The prime rule in self-protection is never give anyone your Social Security number. And don’t carry your card with you. Only government agencies, credit-reporting firms, banks and the Internal Revenue Service can use your Social Security number. Anyone else who wants it can be told it isn’t required.
A Lesson You Learn . . .
. . . as you slip into your senior years is
it’s really really good to wake up and pee
and really really much better
than peeing and then waking up
Getting There is Getting Rougher —
and You Suffer
After several years of covering the airline industry as a business writer for a daily metropolitan newspaper, working for an airline company for a handful of years, and a million or so miles on commercial airlines, my view of airline companies has not changed.
They do not view you as a welcome passenger they can whisk off to exotic lands and happy holidays. You are simply a vacant seat if you’re not on one of their aircraft. They may make apologetic announcements when they delay or cancel your flight, but they really aren’t sorry.
The unfortunate part is that bad customer behavior is inflicted upon the airline staffers who do care – flight attendants and gate agents.
Ever see how the baggage handlers handle your luggage? Ever hear pilots discuss the uncomfortable conditions they cause when they decide to delay or cancel your flight? Ever stumble upon a sympathetic ticket agent willing to give you a refund when your flight is canceled?
Nothing’s really changed as airlines moan and groan about the sudden onrush of travelers and staff shortages because they can’t rehire personnel fast enough after the COVID-19 pandemic slowdown. More than one out of four flights is either cancelled or delayed for a planeload of reasons – backups in the system, staff shortages, weather, mechanical problems, runway crowding, pick a problem.
You have to prepare for discomfort as well as delays if you intend to fly somewhere on a commercial airliner. This is after putting up with TSA frisking at the airport that you arrived at three hours before takeoff time before you even get on an airplane. Then there’s taxi time and gate-waiting time and on and on and on.
On board, you pay for a pillow and blanket. Don’t even think about getting a snack. Pack your own lunch at home and take an empty plastic bottle so you can fill it at an airport fountain before taking flight.
More than 900 flights are cancelled every day, according to Federal Aviation Administration data.
That may sound like a lot, but let’s look at the daily picture. The FAA handles more than 45,000 flights every day taking almost 3 million passengers into and out of the more than 9,500 airports U.S. airports – 14,500 are small private airports. There are as many as some 5,400 aircraft buzzing overhead at any given time.
There are bound to be problems. So you have to prepare for the worst when you embark on a trip to the airport to board an airplane.
Mature Life Features 