Archive for the ‘Humor / Quote’ Category
We Know Music Soothes …
… the savage beast and the soul,
but chocolate does a pretty good job, too.
“I’m not a sports fan” . . .
. . . admits No. 1 son, Michael,
whenever discussion of the Chargers or the Padres or sports stadiums or whatnot is broached,
and points out quickly that performance has proven and is proving that
“San Diego is the perfect place to be if you’re not a sports fan.”
Never Stand . . .
. . . in front of people who 
are eating soup or cereal
while you’re telling them a joke.
My wife drives like . . .
. . . people should drive.
The problem is, people don’t drive like they should.
My Choice of Music are the 6 Bs . . .
. . . Bach and Beethoven,
boogie and blues, and . . .
. . . big band.
There’s good reason to be pissed off . . .
. . . if you haven’t already noticed,
when you get by M and T
and have to struggle through this part of the week:
W, T, F! ! !
“I’m Allergic to Sex” . . .
. . . I notify those around me when I get a sneezing attack.
When they give me that what-the-hell-are-you-talking-about look, I tell them,
“I was just thinking about it.”
Why no one accused Michelle Obama . . .
. . . of plagiarizing Ivanka Trump’s speech is a mystery.
The First Lady used “the” and “and” several times that sounded suspiciously like those uttered in the Trump talk.
I’m Way Ahead of all those Fitness Fanatics . . .
. . . who sweat and strain to attain and maintain six-pack abs.
I finally sport and support a keg.
During This Election Year . . .
. . . we are reminded how Canada and the United States of America differ in one respect, as defined by a former Canadian prime minister.
“In Canada, we love politics but hate our politicians; in the U.S., you hate politics but love your politicians, especially the ones you vote for.”
Mature Life Features 