Folks Who Dine . . .
. . . have found that
some kitchen crews
are very creative on the menu
but have no idea
how to prepare what they print.
Golden Years Lasting Longer
Recent research has many experts believing that living to the currently
believed ceiling of 120 might be a reality within the next three or four decades.
But that could be just the beginning. There was almost unanimous agreement that people will live longer than that in the not-too-distant future. There was less clarity regarding the quality of these extra years of life.
According to a report by the United Nations Population Division, “life expectancy is
projected to increase steadily in all countries after 2050.” And, for the first time, the Population
Division reports that “no limit is set on the increases of life expectancy.”
There are more than 55 million people (in the United States) over age 65, and some 6 million over age 85. Medical researchers suggest a combination of genetic manipulation coupled with advances in molecular biology will likely play a significant role in longevity in the future. Technology has developed the capacity to markedly increase longevity. Stem-cell research and a field of science known as regenerative medicine will soon offer researchers opportunities to reconstruct organs before they fail.
As a professor at New Hampshire’s Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center explained it, man stood up 5 million years ago for the first time, and then it took him another 3 million years to create a hand axe. It was a slow start, but the pace kept picking up and today’s technological developments are moving at such a rapid pace that it’s not difficult to imagine something as exciting as nanotechnology right around the corner.
It’s Been . . .
. . . adaged that
you should walk a mile in one’s shoes
before criticizing them.
You can criticize me all you want because
you ain’t ever gonna walk anywhere
in my shoes.
Traffic-Light Colors Curb
Red-Nose Embarrassment
Older women with a skin condition called rosacea might want to think about the colors of a
traffic light next time they’re shopping at the cosmetic counter. It turns out that green-tone and
yellow-based makeup can help mask the redness of the acne-like facial disorder that affects an
estimated 14 million Americans.
In a survey of more than 900 rosacea patients conducted by the National Rosacea Society, 88
percent of respondents said cosmetics help conceal its effects on facial appearance.
More than half – 54 percent – noted that they turn to yellow-based natural colors or green-tone
makeup to offset the rosacea redness, compared with 25 percent who reported using more
traditional pink-based natural hues.
Rosacea typically begins at any time after age 30 as a flushing or redness on the cheeks, nose,
chin, or forehead. It may come and go. Over time, the redness tends to become ruddier and more
persistent, and small dilated blood vessels may appear.
Without treatment, bumps and pimples often develop and, in severe cases, the nose may become
swollen from excess tissue. In many patients, the eyes are also affected, feeling irritated and
appearing watery or bloodshot.
If They . . .
. . .arrested the devil,
would they charge him
with possession?
America’s Colorful Hall of Fame
We smelled it as soon as we swooshed through the cool glass doors from the oppressive Pennsylvania humidity into the revitalizing air-conditioned building.
“Crayons,” my wife said.
We had entered the Crayola Hall of Fame nestled in a high rolling Easton meadow close by the New Jersey border just 90 minutes from downtown Manhattan.
It was a timely visit because a mittful of tones were to be retired to be replaced by a similar number in the colorful contingent. I lobbied for the enshrinement of a violet orange I developed when an old crayon melted in my water color set long ago but I was too late.
The initial move to modernity was made a few decades ago after interviews with Crayola’s major consumers – kids – revealed a need for brightness among the corporate colors. We asked our guide if there was any move to add a scent to the product. “Are you kidding?” was the response. Studies show that crayons are among the 20 most-recognized scents in America. Coffee and peanut butter top the list.
It was almost disappointing to see how such colorful pieces of my life could be the product of such a cramped and constantly-clattering plant. It was like discovering that Santa’s workshop is in a carport.
Workers did display an elfin dedication to quality in the care and concern they show in making sure every Crayola has a straight label and perfectly pointed tip. Color was splattered all over as paraffin was recycled in large globs, colorful paper sleeves awaited the cylindrical sticks of color, and the familiar orange-and-green boxes of various sizes housed hundreds of thousands of Crayolas ready for shipment around the globe.
Crayolas have rolled out of this site since the first eight-color pack was produced in 1903 and sold for a nickel. The trade name Crayola derives from the French word craie for chalk and the Latin oleum for oil. Crayolas are made of paraffin and pigment. And crayon is the generic term for a colored writing stick.
The one person I hunted for but never found: the inspector who checks for crayons that stay inside the lines.
You Folks . . .
. . . wanna have fun???
Check these out:
“drive and listen.com” and
“these maps aren’t in your world atlas”
Told My Tablemate . . .
. . .’tother day that
no matter how hard he pushes the envelope,
it’ll remain stationery.
Soften Toenails For Easier Trimming
Trimming toenails gets tougher as they thicken.
Medical experts offer some tips to make your job easier.
– Soak your feet. Soften your toenails by soaking them in warm water.
– File. Towel dry and gently stroke the surface of the thickened toenail with an emery board to
thin the nail.
– Use the right clippers. Long-handled toenail clippers that resemble small pliers or wire cutters
provide a better grip and more control.
– Take small clips. Cut off a small piece at a time.
– Make a straight cut. Cut straight across your toenail, without rounding the corners, to reduce
the chance that the corners will become ingrown.
– Wear roomy shoes. Leaving enough room for your toes can alleviate friction and wear that can
cause a nail to thicken.
Goldwyn Gobbledygook
By Tom Morrow
Samuel Goldwyn was a Polish-American film producer who also entertained millions with his hilarious off-beat one-liners that no one could make up.
Like:
“Our comedies are not to be laughed at.”
“For this part I want a lady … someone with couth.”
“I’ve been laid up with the intentional flu.”
“I want to make a picture about the Russian secret police … the GOP.”
“Any man who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined.”
He declined an invitation to a New Orleans Mardi Gras party saying, “I wouldn’t go even if they had it in the streets.”
Making vacation plans, he sad wanted to go “somewhere where the hand of man has never set foot.”
During that trip to England, hew told how an ancient sun dial works, “With the shadow moving with the progress of the sun.” He marveled, “What will they think of next?”
When discussing the dangers of the atom bomb, Goldwyn warned “not to underestimate the power of nuclear energy. It’s dynamite.”
Getting tired of debating with a British agent, Goldwyn declared he was going out “for some tea and trumpets.”
A secretary in Goldwyn’s office asked if she could toss out some old files. He agreed, but cautioned, “Be sure you make copies before you throw them out.’
Give A Man A Fish . . .
. . . and you’ll feed him for day,
the old saying goes,
but if you teach him how to fish,
you’ll probably have to get yourself
a new rod, reel, tackle box and boat.
Missouri River Town Echoes Mark Twain
HANNIBAL, MO. —- History and heritage are linked in this northeastern Missouri community nestled on the banks of the Mississippi River. It is here, in “America’s Hometown” that adventure and charm are
alive and well.
Its most famous son is Samuel Clemens, better known as Mark Twain, author of some of the
most- loved American literature. Visitors get a chance to relive “The Adventures of Tom
Sawyer” by passing through Mark Twain’s boyhood home, museums, the Mark Twain Cave, Becky
Thatcher’s house, and the Tom Sawyer Dioramas.
Live representations of Tom Sawyer and Becky Thatcher, dressed in authentic attire of the era,
greeted you on the town’s streets. Visitors encounter them on summer weekends or on arrival by river boat.
Hannibal visitors also find crafts, antiques, working artisans, museums, river-boat cruises, and
dinner theater. It’s fun to take a sightseeing tour on a horse-drawn wagon and pay a visit to the
“Unsinkable” Molly Brown’s birthplace.
The Reason . . .
. . .cannibals don’t eat pessimists
is because they taste bitter.
Through the Looking Glass
via Laser Surgery
It all began several years ago when the traces of cataracts were noticed during my annual
eye test and the doctor said, “Just think, when we take those out, you’ll be able to see without
glasses.”
As we moved into the 21st century, the optometrist made a remark about the rapid advances
made in eye procedures, multi-focal lenses, and precision laser surgery, among other things, and
that I might consider ridding myself of the cloudy mass accumulating in both eyes before they
greatly affected my ability to see.
Three choices were open to me. Option One involved removing the deteriorating lenses I
was born with and replacing them with clear plastic man-made lenses called intra-ocular lenses
(IOL) and continuing to wear glasses, which were part of my life for more than six decades.
Most of this cost was covered by medical insurance but still involved acquiring new
prescription glasses every year.
Option Number Two called for implanting a “far-sighted” lens in one eye and a “short-sighted”
lens in the other. I was told my eyes and brain would work work to make the adjustment that allowed me to see comfortably with these lenses.
The third option involved replacing the clouded natural lenses with “multi-focal,” or prescription,
lenses.
Prices ranged for Options Two and Three and the doctors in the office I’d been visiting for years were the most reasonable. I chose Number Three when they told me, “You’re a good candidate for multi-focals.”
The full process included implanting the plastic prescription lenses, laser surgery to correct the
astigmatisms (irregularly shaped corneas) in both eyes, and all follow-up treatment and
monitoring after the surgery.
The day after New Years Day, my wife drove me to the hospital at 9 a.m. and we were home in time for lunch. My right eye was protected by a see-through patch. There was more trepidation than trauma. I was sedated but never unconscious and the preparation took much more time than the actual surgery. By the time the anesthetist got me to tell him what
I did for a living, I was being settled into a comfortable chair and given coffee and a cookie.
We repeated the process two weeks later on my left eye. I was told to wear the patch every night for at least a week and no heavy lifting for a couple of months.
My next step was delayed about six weeks when I was sedated but never unconscious while the doctor and technicians talked me through the entire process of correcting my astigmatisms with a laser beam.
Everything’s improved since. My eyes are much more sensitive to light than before. I’ve toned down the glare from my computer monitor and television set. I wear sunglasses, even around the house. That makes life easier because I feel naked without
glasses perched on my nose.
An interesting side light is that family and friends tell me I don’t look any different without my
glasses.
I’m still learning to read the small print in my morning newspaper. When I have to get some
work done, I don a pair of drugstore reading glasses I bought for a pittance.
A Lot Can Be Said . . .
. . . about living in Switzerland.
Even its flag is a big plus.
Hapless Headlines
More than six decades in the newspaper business has given me the opportunity to collect, correct and clip out headlines that have caused red faces – from embarrassment by those who wrote them and from laughing by those who read them. Many sneaked through the editorial staff at papers I worked for, others hit the streets in competing pages, a lot were sent to me by colleagues, and the rest I just read in papers picked up here and there.
Some of you must have seen some of them. Like:
Police Launch Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Panda Mating Fails, Veterinarian Takes Over
Miners Refuse to Work After Death
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
War Dims Hope for Peace
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Homicide Victims Rarely Talk to Police
Marijuana Issue Sent to a Joint Committee
China May be Using Sea to Hide its Submarines
Federal Agents Raid Gun Shop, Find Weapons
Man Kills Himself and Runs Away
Bugs Flying Around With Wings are Flying Bugs
Bridges Help People Cross Rivers
Girls’ Schools Still Offering “Something Special” — Head
Man Arrested For Everything
Tiger Woods Plays With His Own Balls, Nike Says
Rooms With Broken Air Conditioners are Hot
State Population to Double by 2040, Babies to Blame
Greenland Meteorite May be From Space
Students Cook & Serve Grandparents
Woman Missing Since She Got Lost
Man Found Dead in Graveyard
City Unsure Why the Sewer Smells
Planes Forced to Land at Airports
Hospitals Resort to Hiring Doctors
Statistics Show that Teen Pregnancy Drops Significantly After 25
Diana Was Still Alive Hours Before She Died
One-Armed Man Applauds the Kindness of Strangers
Most Earthquake Damage is Caused by Shaking
And my all-time favorite:
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures.
If you have more of your own, send them to cecilscag@gmail.com
If Your Only Tool . . .
. . . is a chain-saw,
all your problems
begin to look like trees.
Aging is More than a Numbers Game
Claiming age is just a number doesn’t add up. What number is it? Do you pick a favorite number and use it forever? Or is it the number of days you’ve been alive and alert? A sizeable number of folks wonder what age they’re going to be in heaven. A wrong number could be hell.
No matter how we regard our age, we have come to understand that aging increases the risk factor for many diseases, including cancers and degenerative disorders such as dementia, and the likelihood of suffering several chronic illnesses.
Genes have long played a role in how we age. If your parents lived relatively healthy lives and edged close to the century mark before dying, your chances of living a lengthy and relatively healthy life are pretty good. If you take care of yourself.
While the global search for the Fountain of Youth is still in full force, diet and lifestyle are a couple of traditional tools you can use to stretch out your time here on Earth.
Mature Life Features 